Thursday, January 16, 2014

Comparison is the thief of joy.

If someone were to ask me on the street what my worst quality was, I would say my tendency to compare myself to others. I'm a pretty type-A, driven person. Yet I can't help but compare my accomplishments and progress (or lack thereof) to others'.


But isn't this an integral human flaw? It's far more rare to find someone who is completely sure of themselves than to find someone who is self-conscious. Self-consciousness is almost a pre-requisite to function in society today--we have grown to distrust or even inherently dislike those who display too much confidence. 

And why? Shouldn't we be applauding those who have come to embrace their flaws and focus on their accomplishments? Or are we too proud to give our peers a pat on the back?

Sometimes we need to take a step back and remind ourselves that we don't have to be doing what everyone else is doing. While we may be the same age as someone else, we are in entirely different circumstances. We all have overcome different hardships. We have endured both setbacks and successes. 

It's easy to say, "Stop comparing yourself to others." I am not a preacher (and if I was, I would be preaching more to myself than to anyone). Yet little reminders can never hurt. 

Comparison is our main tool of measurement as humans. We've been taught to compare and contrast since we opened our eyes. We compare prices, sizes of watermelons and great works of literature. It's only natural that we compare ourselves to others. 

A certain quote comes to my mind whenever I find myself dwelling too much on my insecurities: "Don't compare your beginning to someone else's middle."

Everyone has different goals, expectations, hopes and dreams. I realize that I may not meet my goals as quickly as someone else. Yet that doesn't make that goal, or me, any more insignificant than that person. There are so many delicate details that allow one to reach their goals, or even a bit of happiness, that we can't even begin to compare ourselves to others. 

It's simply unfair. 

College is a breeding ground for comparison-making. I have so often felt the tinge of insecurity when I hear that someone has completed a paper far earlier than me or when someone else has scored their dream internship. 

College has taught me you can't always be first in your class; you won't always be the first-choice candidate for the job; and you won't be invited to every party. College has taught me that it's okay if you're not always first. 

The struggle is what gives us strength

Fight the urge to compare yourself to others. With a little hard work, we'll all get there in due time.

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