When it's time to say goodbye.

Saying goodbye to someone is one of the strangest, most difficult exchanges one can have as a human being. Of course, I am not one to believe in goodbyes. I will always be the one to correct a friend or loved one: "I'll see you soon. Don't tell me goodbye."

Yet it's difficult to convince yourself that you'll see someone soon, when the logical half of your brain says that four months isn't quite what one would define as "soon." The emotional half attempts to quash theses all too real thoughts--you suppress the inevitable tears and reassure yourself that it is going to be okay. After all, what would you do if it wasn't okay? 

Goodbyes are thought-provoking because you can't dwell on them. You expect such an exchange to be lengthy and emotional. A goodbye should have meaning, it should be memorable. 

But I've learned that you can't force something to be meaningful. Much like New Year's Eve or birthdays as we grow older, goodbyes typically fall short of our expectations. We expect them to be cinematic, with our hair blowing in the wind as our companion launches into a poignant monologue about how much they will miss us. 

We attempt to dismiss these expectations as silly and cliche (that's the logical part of our brains speaking again). Yet as you turn away from the one you're with, you can't help but wonder: is this it? 

This is the part of your story where there should be a climax. You've been thinking about this moment for weeks. You've been trying to spend as much time as possible with those you will soon be leaving, with the thought in the back of your brain that they will be too far away too soon. 

Yet once the time arrives, all that's left to do is say goodbye. You stand there with your arms hanging by your sides, exhaling with a heavy sigh and wonder what else you can do or say. You repeat yourself over and over, trying to console yourself as much as the one you're with. 

Ultimately, you realize that you simply have to let go. Hold on any longer, and you're merely inflicting more pain upon yourself and the one (or many) you love. 

It's like ripping off a band-aid. 

Do it quickly. The pain rushes in, fast and burning. It will linger, but you will not suffer the same numbing pain that comes with a drawn-out goodbye. There is a time to cry. That time is most certainly now. You must not torture yourself. It does not do well to dwell on such a moment; dwell instead on the happy ones. You made those memories for a reason. 

One thing is certain. Goodbyes never get any easier, no matter how many times you say them. Ripping off a band-aid hurts just as much at 63 as it did when you were 3. Yet they do make us stronger; they make us realize what we are leaving behind, what we are so lucky to have and what we will return to. 

I'll see you soon.

//image via Olivia Bee photography.