Comparison is the thief of joy.

If someone were to ask me on the street what my worst quality was, I would say my tendency to compare myself to others. I'm a pretty type-A, driven person. Yet I can't help but compare my accomplishments and progress (or lack thereof) to others'.

But isn't this an integral human flaw? It's far more rare to find someone who is completely sure of themselves than to find someone who is self-conscious. Self-consciousness is almost a pre-requisite to function in society today--we have grown to distrust or even inherently dislike those who display too much confidence. 

And why? Shouldn't we be applauding those who have come to embrace their flaws and focus on their accomplishments? Or are we too proud to give our peers a pat on the back?

Sometimes we need to take a step back and remind ourselves that we don't have to be doing what everyone else is doing. While we may be the same age as someone else, we are in entirely different circumstances. We all have overcome different hardships. We have endured both setbacks and successes. 

It's easy to say, "Stop comparing yourself to others." I am not a preacher (and if I was, I would be preaching more to myself than to anyone). Yet little reminders can never hurt. 

Comparison is our main tool of measurement as humans. We've been taught to compare and contrast since we opened our eyes. We compare prices, sizes of watermelons and great works of literature. It's only natural that we compare ourselves to others. 

A certain quote comes to my mind whenever I find myself dwelling too much on my insecurities: "Don't compare your beginning to someone else's middle."

Everyone has different goals, expectations, hopes and dreams. I realize that I may not meet my goals as quickly as someone else. Yet that doesn't make that goal, or me, any more insignificant than that person. There are so many delicate details that allow one to reach their goals, or even a bit of happiness, that we can't even begin to compare ourselves to others. 

It's simply unfair. 

College is a breeding ground for comparison-making. I have so often felt the tinge of insecurity when I hear that someone has completed a paper far earlier than me or when someone else has scored their dream internship. 

College has taught me you can't always be first in your class; you won't always be the first-choice candidate for the job; and you won't be invited to every party. College has taught me that it's okay if you're not always first. 

The struggle is what gives us strength. 

Fight the urge to compare yourself to others. With a little hard work, we'll all get there in due time.

Insta-crush: Stone Fox Bride

Every time Stone Fox Bride's Instagram photos appear in my news feed, I am overcome with happiness. The undeniably cool bridal shop based in Manhattan is my guilty pleasure. My favorite posts of theirs are when they photograph a client's engagement ring, and caption the photo with a quippy story about that client's proposal or the ring's ancestry. Check out some of my favorite captions below, and prepare to fall in love with SFB's adventures here.  

-"Asked her in their friends restaurant in Brooklyn. They've been dating for fifteen years."

-“Proposed in the morning in pjs. I said today would be a good day to get engaged. He went upstairs and got the rings, got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I was like is this real??? I started crying and shaking and we hugged and drank champagne and danced to a Beach House record.”

-"Got down on one knee in the mist in December on top of the Empire State Building."

-"He planned a trip to Paris. After a long day of walking around and soaking in all the sights we stopped and bought cheese, bread and some wine. We went back to the apartment and he set up a picnic on the roof. I turned around and he was on one knee, holding a piece of baguette smeared with cheese, with the ring on top and asked me, "Will you marry me?" I laughed and said, "Are you sure?!!!!" and, "Yes!!!"

-"Proposed at the summer camp in California where they met."

London Fashion Week: Erdem Spring 2014

I love New York Fashion Week. I've always felt that it sets the stage for all of the following fashion weeks--that it's the true test of what we can predict to see on the sidewalks in the coming seasons. New York Fashion Week also seems to produce the most wearable ready-to-wear clothing. From 3.1 Phillip Lim to Kate Spade to Alexander Wang, these are the clothes that will have some semblance of affordability and practicality. 

Yet there is something special about the London and Paris Fashion Weeks. London seems to have a mood all on its own--defined by a city that has been known for the most unique of trends like punk, the collections that emerge from its runways never fail to instill awe in its audiences. 

Erdem has been one of my favorite shows to anticipate during London Fashion Week since the beginning of high school, when my love for fashion began. Its original prints are some of the most unique to emerge from all of the shows at the different fashion weeks--but it seems as though this season was different. 

The focus was less on intricate prints, and instead on unique textures and fabrics. Defined by striking black and white, the details of the garments stood out with grandeur. 

Here are some of my favorite looks: 

//images via Style.com 

Favorite find: Olivia Bee Photography

Sometimes you find the best things in the strangest of ways. I think that is one of the most prominent characteristics of life--spontaneity. You can't force many things. You simply have to do as much as you can, and let life take its course. And funnily enough, everything tends to be okay in the end. And if it's not okay, it's not the end. 

Recently I stumbled across Olivia Bee's photography portfolio via a friend's Facebook.She's only 19, yet she captures the eccentricities and simplicities of life in the most beautiful ways. I particularly love her 'Everyday' and 'Lovers' projects, as they examine life's little moments. 

This quote on her About Me page sums up exactly how I feel about her photos, and speaks to how I've been thinking a lot lately about the importance of recognizing even the simplest moments in life: "I strive to capture the ordinary, in an extraordinary way. Life is beautiful, perfect, and cinematic, if you look at the right moments. It's not always an accurate summary of life in general, but it is those specific moments that make it worth living anyway."

Monday musings

I just arrived home from a wonderful vacation in Santa Cruz. It reminded me of how beautiful it can be to live simply. Good company, salty air and the sea are all I need. Now I am easing back into the reality of the 100+ degree weather in my hometown with a little Pinterest scouting after being inspired by keeping things simple and classic. 

(via Matchbook Magazine's pinterest page and Liz Schneider's pinterest)

Stuck in a style rut

I've always been a devout follower of the fashion industry. For as long as I can remember I've gawked at the editorials in Vogue and I've been tracking the rise of fashion blogs since I received my first laptop in middle school. 

via Jak & Jil

Yet as a college student, I often find myself simply longing over clothes rather than incorporating them into my closet. As many others can relate, I find it difficult to justify buying yet another pair of jeans simply because they are in a different wash, or a particularly unique pair of earrings when that money should be going to textbooks or rent. 

However, even in the rare months that I am home and my parents are feeling more generous than usual, I find myself stuck in a style rut. I leave store after store empty-handed, and I'm not sure if this is because I feel guilty spending my parents' money or if I simply don't know my own style anymore. 

I certainly have no loss for inspiration--Pinterest, magazines and blogs are constantly becoming more refined. Whenever I go shopping, though, I seem to never find anything that I love. I try pieces on, and I think, "Well, this is okay." But when building my wardrobe, I don't want to fill it with pieces that are merely "okay." 

This time of year is always particularly difficult for me in terms of style, as I tire of wearing the same shorts and tank tops every day (yet Fresno's heat in the summer is unbearable, so this is rather unavoidable). Fall and winter are much more inspiring for me as I love to layer and experiment with mixing different pieces in my closet. 

Perhaps I am simply just thinking about my style too much. I need to stop trying to force myself to like pieces just so I can purchase something new, and I need to let myself fall in love with styles on a whim. Summer is winding down, and I'll be unpacking my sweaters in New York in no time. A new season may be just what I need to spruce up my style and achieve a more focused vision. 

What do you do when you're stuck in a style rut? 

H&M Online

It's finally happened. As of yesterday, H&M's e-commerce website is live in all 50 states. The site includes women's, plus-size, men's, teens, and children, and exclusive "online-only" items in what seems like a dream come true. 

Since I don't have an H&M at home, I've never really had the time to have a true shopping experience there. I've been in and out of various H&Ms in New York City, but they have been largely unproductive shopping trips. Oftentimes, walking through some of their brick-and-mortar stores has overwhelmed me due to the sheer amount of items available. 

H&M is certainly known for their affordable prices and essential basics, but what I love most is their tendency to produce high fashion items that my wallet can rejoice at. The fact that H&M has finally made their wares available online excites me to no end. I will finally be able to find those coveted items with ease rather than searching through their endless racks. 

The brand has also launched a user-generated contest called the "50 States of Fashion" where you can upload your best look to Instagram with your state's hashtag for a chance to win a trip to NYC. Quite the perk for shopping, no? 

Check out my favorite online items below... and happy shopping!

Chiffon Dress $34.95

Clutch Bag $24.95

Beaded Sweatshirt $49.95

New York or California?

via New York Magazine

It's always interesting to observe the reactions of people from my hometown, and even my home state (California), when I inform them that I go to college in New York. Naturally, the first thought that crosses their mind is how I manage to live in such a bustling city. And this is where I must make my first correction: my college is in Westchester County, just a 25-minute (ish) Metro North ride away from that city. 

While it is difficult for Californians to understand that the state of New York extends beyond Manhattan, they often manage to move on to make further inquiries. 

Do I like it there? Yes. Yes, I do. 

New York is completely different from California, especially the city. No, this is not because I live five minutes away from the beach where I surf every day (though I would like to learn how to surf). It's more so because of the atmosphere of these states--the feeling that you get when first stepping off an airplane there. 

I could list the differences between New York and California for years, but those differences don't hold enough significance to me to do so. I love the two states, and their respective bustling cities, specifically for their differences. 

Moving across the country for college has been a completely humbling experience. I have learned more than I ever have in a classroom by doing so, and I know I have many more years of learning ahead of me. It's daunting to think about the future, and I often do so only in small doses or large-scale goals in response to that feeling. 

Daunting is also precisely the word that comes to mind when my companions ask the inevitable question: Do you think you'll stay in New York forever? 

I know that this is an innocent attempt to make conversation, yet I also can't help but contemplate the question seriously. It is truly daunting to think of yourself staying in one place forever, especially at this age. I do love New York--I love for so many reasons that I can't articulate into words. But my heart is also in California. It's in San Francisco, Orange County and Los Angeles. 

My heart is in a million places at once. A million different interests, passions and dreams. But isn't every 20-something feeling the same thing? It's hard for us to see a clear outline of the future. At this point in our lives, it's more of a blur or perhaps a hopeful mirage. 

I always give the same answer to this question: "I don't know. I'll have to see where life and my work take me." Unfortunately, the bare-faced truth is that we often choose where we live not because it's our idea of utopia but it is where we can make a living. Yet I also compliment this answer with a smile, knowing that this uncertainty promises excitement and adventure. 

I know that I will be happy wherever I end up after college, and throughout the rest of my life. After all, my mother does always say that, "It's not what you have, but what you make of what you have." 

I will continue to fall in love with places I've never been and people I've never met. I will continue to fall in love with New York City and the city of angels. Cities hold memories and dreams. Perhaps it isn't the place we love, but the changes that we see in ourselves as we adapt to these new locales.

I could get used to these changes. 

Favorite find: Vintage Bowles

In life, we come across many characters. We meet those that are quirky, type-A, eccentric and charming. There are those that never leave our lives and some that only stay for a moment, but leave an impression to last a lifetime.

Hamish Bowles is certainly a character that is not easy to forget. Formally known as Vogue magazine's editor-at-large, the man is known for his exquisite taste and talent. He has been an avid collector of vintage couture for years, and Vogue has recently made the excellent move to film the man doing what he does best for a new series entitled Vintage Bowles.

Stumbling across this series on Vogue's new video channel (which is quite amazing--I could spend the whole day watching videos from their various series. My other favorites: Vogue Weddings and Beauty Mark) was like stumbling across hidden treasure, or more appropriately a rare couture gown. 

The passion with which Hamish speaks of the clothing that he is searching for and his various expeditions is inspiring. The history that he covers in a mere three minutes, like in the video above that delves into designer Charles James' dresses, leaves me wanting more. 

Discovering things like this is what makes me love fashion and how the industry is evolving alongside technological advancements. This series in particular is unique in that it combines stories of fashion history with a platform where it can be appreciated today. 

Characters always have a story to tell. After all, they are part of the story themselves. I cannot wait to continue watching Hamish weave tales of his colorful past and present through this series. Until the next episode, however, I will satisfy my penchant for all things Hamish with these photos from his Gatsby-themed 50th birthday thrown by Anna Wintour herself. 

Oh, Hamish. 

Thinking of: San Francisco

via sfgirlbybay

Kyle and I are headed to San Francisco today to celebrate my birthday. I've slowly but surely become a Giants fan under his influence, so we will be at AT&T Park tomorrow evening (for my first professional baseball game!). 

I haven't been to SF in so long--I think my last visit was when my age was still in the single digits. I am more than excited for this little escape, and to hopefully fall in love with the bay area all over again. These images have definitely sparked my eagerness to get back to the city by the bay. 

via sfgirlbybay

via Pinterest

via Cachemire & Soie

On quotations & role models: Amelia Earhart

The heroes that we herald in childhood quickly fade from our memories as the years go by. When we're feeling nostalgic, or perhaps simply lonely, we often laugh at what we used to take so seriously once before. Many of us called Mom and Dad our heroes (and oftentimes they still are, or should be), but others saw hearts of gold in the most peculiar places. 

We looked to Michael Jordan in hopes of one day entering the NBA, or Britney Spears as our pop star predecessor. The local baker that made our birthday cakes was more of a magician than a blue-collar worker, and our mailman might as well have driven a spaceship.

While we may not have given our role models much thought as children, they did say things about us and who we were to become. 

I always think it's interesting to think back to learning how to write an essay in school. Rule number one was always: NEVER start with a quote. Using someone else's words meant that you had nothing to say, that you were unoriginal. 

And while it is still frowned upon to use other's words, I believe that our favorite quotations spoken by our role models speak volumes about us. 

I share my birthday with Amelia Earhart, the inspiration behind this post. The image above is a quotation that has hung on my bedroom wall since my freshman year of high school--and it has given me the determination needed to keep pressing on more times than I can count. 

Our quotations and our role models speak of our aspirations--while we are not attempting to become a carbon copy of that person, we are using their words and example as a tool to define ourselves. 

Amelia Earhart defied any and all stereotypes of women in her era. She did not break records as a woman, but as a human. She was the first to cross the Atlantic more than once. Yesterday, she would have turned 116 as I turned 20. 

Amelia Earhart will always be one of my most treasured role models, and I will always look to her words for inspiration to break my own records. 

While quotations by others may not accurately define who we are, they speak of who we want to be. 

“Never do things others can do and will do if there are things others cannot do or will not do.” Amelia Earhart

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