New York or California?

via New York Magazine

It's always interesting to observe the reactions of people from my hometown, and even my home state (California), when I inform them that I go to college in New York. Naturally, the first thought that crosses their mind is how I manage to live in such a bustling city. And this is where I must make my first correction: my college is in Westchester County, just a 25-minute (ish) Metro North ride away from that city. 

While it is difficult for Californians to understand that the state of New York extends beyond Manhattan, they often manage to move on to make further inquiries. 

Do I like it there? Yes. Yes, I do. 

New York is completely different from California, especially the city. No, this is not because I live five minutes away from the beach where I surf every day (though I would like to learn how to surf). It's more so because of the atmosphere of these states--the feeling that you get when first stepping off an airplane there. 

I could list the differences between New York and California for years, but those differences don't hold enough significance to me to do so. I love the two states, and their respective bustling cities, specifically for their differences. 

Moving across the country for college has been a completely humbling experience. I have learned more than I ever have in a classroom by doing so, and I know I have many more years of learning ahead of me. It's daunting to think about the future, and I often do so only in small doses or large-scale goals in response to that feeling. 

Daunting is also precisely the word that comes to mind when my companions ask the inevitable question: Do you think you'll stay in New York forever? 

I know that this is an innocent attempt to make conversation, yet I also can't help but contemplate the question seriously. It is truly daunting to think of yourself staying in one place forever, especially at this age. I do love New York--I love for so many reasons that I can't articulate into words. But my heart is also in California. It's in San Francisco, Orange County and Los Angeles. 

My heart is in a million places at once. A million different interests, passions and dreams. But isn't every 20-something feeling the same thing? It's hard for us to see a clear outline of the future. At this point in our lives, it's more of a blur or perhaps a hopeful mirage. 

I always give the same answer to this question: "I don't know. I'll have to see where life and my work take me." Unfortunately, the bare-faced truth is that we often choose where we live not because it's our idea of utopia but it is where we can make a living. Yet I also compliment this answer with a smile, knowing that this uncertainty promises excitement and adventure. 

I know that I will be happy wherever I end up after college, and throughout the rest of my life. After all, my mother does always say that, "It's not what you have, but what you make of what you have." 

I will continue to fall in love with places I've never been and people I've never met. I will continue to fall in love with New York City and the city of angels. Cities hold memories and dreams. Perhaps it isn't the place we love, but the changes that we see in ourselves as we adapt to these new locales.

I could get used to these changes.